I was recently chosen by one of my favorite magazines to be interviewed for a special series on “San Diego’s Most Inspiring Entrepreneurs” (omg!).
I really enjoyed reading the full transcript of the interview, because it brought out many painful moments that I have experienced on my career path, moments that I had not shared publicly before.
Looking back on the last few years, all I can say is IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.
We are all in this together, so let’s share the stories. The story begins in the previous post and continues below.
QUESTION 2: Has the path to becoming an inspiring entrepreneur been a smooth road? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
It has been far from smooth! But like I always say, “only YOU can teach that which you have gone through in your life”. And I certainly have a lot to teach.
When I launched my company in 2014, I was determined to find my redemption and that success and abundance would come quickly. After all, it had always been easy for me to create fast wealth and success for others, so why not me?
I was confident that I would launch my business with ease and get rich quick. I desperately wanted to create a network that would support me and my business, and I knew that organizing a powerful community of like-minded entrepreneurs would be an effortless way for me to find the support I needed while positioning myself as a leader. I had become quite skilled over the years at building businesses through event-based marketing, and I set my eye on mastering Meetup.com. Within a year I had launched and was leading a Meetup community of 2000 + members, the Conscious Business Network of San Diego.
What I failed to realize was that I was building my network for all of the wrong reasons. I was looking for validation through numbers because I didn’t know how to promote myself. I had always been someone else’s cheerleader.. I had always been someone else’s ambassador… I had always offered my shoulder for someone else to cry on. I had always been skillful with high-ticket sales, but I was struggling,like really struggling, to find the motivation to sell any of my own services. And I fell back into the trap of over-working and giving away my time, and I buried myself financially.
I also discovered that I had a debilitating fear of public speaking., but only when the focus was on me. I had always been the person of support in the audience rather than on the stage, or behind the camera ad not in front of it. In fact, I found that I was actually physically unable to speak about myself. I would start shaking, lose my voice, and feel faint. So now I was spending all of my time leading a huge group, and supporting others who I allowed to take advantage of me, but I was unable to provide for myself.
My greatest challenge during the last few years has been to discover that there are just as many narcissistic and cruel people in the spiritual, holistic, and conscious business communities as anywhere else. Once I found the courage to create healthy boundaries with friends and colleagues, I also found myself abandoned many people who I thought I could rely on just as much as they relied on me. But once I understood how empathic I was and realized that my own codependent behavior was even more dysfunctional than that of the people who used me, I found incredible strength.
Today, I choose to turn the volume up on my truth, support others in doing the same. Through the Conscious Business Chamber, I intend to foster a space where all heart-centered leaders choose collaboration over competition and where they feel safe to be imperfect. I intend to foster a space where members can share, authentically, the wisdom that they have gained through their most unimpressive moments, knowing that they will not be abandoned.
Please see upcoming post.